This is a guest blog post by Philippa Linane of Decision Happy. Philippa’s work is based on the best-selling book ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers, which had a significant impact on my life when I first read it in the early nineties. I implemented the principles as I pursued my dream of becoming a professional actor and singer and have used affirmations and other empowering techniques throughout my life to overcome my fear, step outside my comfort zone and help achieve my goals (including jumping out of a plane – yes, that’s me in the photo!)
We are now three weeks into January and I wonder how you’re getting on with your plans for 2014. How is this year going to be different to the past? Have you made plans? Are you moving forward with them? Or are you letting fear hold you back?
Philippa’s blog post will provide you with food for thought and some techniques for feeling the fear and making a difference to last year – enjoy!
As we enter another year full of good intentions and plans to get more out of this year, I wonder how you are going about doing it. What is going to be different this year to last year? I am not necessarily meaning huge life changing events; I am talking about day to day things that could be working better for you, the small steps that can lead to a bigger life. For example, we could pay a bit more attention to our thoughts and actions and put some practises in place that become a way of life as per the principles of the book ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. These techniques can enable us to better handle whatever life throws at us.
Fear keeps a lot of us from doing many things, whilst for others it is the driving force behind them doing it. It can hold us in a place of pain or a place of power. I once lived in a place of pain and nervous energy, until I came across ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ and practised the tools and techniques. Gradually I gained in confidence and self-belief and my life started changing. From choosing a pair of glasses for myself to getting a new job and travelling alone to and around Australia. It didn’t stop there and it will continue as it is a lifelong process.
Everything we do and achieve is born out of how much confidence and self-belief we have. Understanding how we hold fear is the key to pushing through it and growing each time. You see, the fear doesn’t go away, we just gain a little more confidence each time. Quite often another fear arises, which we have to overcome if we want to grow.
So how do we push through our fears?
Whether you believe in yourself or not, act ‘as if’. The more you act ‘as if’, the more you become the person you want to be. Whatever your limiting belief is, identify the opposite of that and affirm it. For example, if you are having a troubled time, use the affirmation ‘it is all happening perfectly’. If you are feeling weak and unloved, use the affirmation ‘I am powerful and I am loved’. If your relationship with money needs to improve, use ‘I have a great relationship with money; I am responsible and I manage it well’. If you are afraid to speak up, use ‘It is safe for me to speak up; I am clear and speak kindly’. Ensure that the statements are in the present tense and keep them positive. Repeat these affirmations like a mantra – write them down, stick them on doors, mirrors, desks, etc – until they become second nature and actually come up as positive thoughts when you need them. Choose and use whatever affirmations work for you.
Get in touch with your inner chatterbox; start catching your negative self-talk and turn it round by asking yourself ‘what if’. What if it could work? What if the negative belief isn’t true? What would I be doing? How would I be behaving? And see what comes up for you.
Look at the pay offs for staying stuck. When you are in your comfort zone nothing changes – life may not get any worse but it is unlikely to get better. Think about the pay offs for you. Are the pay offs for staying stuck bigger than the pay offs for moving forward? Or not?
Are you taking full responsibility? I am not talking about working and paying the bills; I mean for everything. Try spending a week being blame free, of others and of yourself. If something isn’t working, ask yourself where you are not taking responsibility. Think about how else you could look at this issue and gain another perspective. Attitude is everything, change your attitude and you can change your life.
Life Coach and Licensed Trainer – Decision Happy
For more information about Philippa Linane, click here.
If overcoming your fear of public speaking is one of your goals for this year, click here to find out how easy it is to go from fearful to fantastic!